


Watching Them Burn

by orphan_account



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Cabin Fic, Crying, Fire, Gen, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Letters, Open to Interpretation, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Sad Ending, Unhappy Ending, logan and janus are brothers because i can
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26209201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Prompt fill for the Sanders Sides monthly subreddit prompt- I chose the lyrics 'I'm rereading your letters, and watching them burn' from the song Burn in Hamilton. Main character- Logan.Logan's cabin is covered in paper and memories.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Watching Them Burn

**Author's Note:**

> I'll occasionally get comments saying that they didn't read the tags, and their mental health took a hit. Please, please, know yourself. I cannot stress enough that there is no comfort in this fic, and there is no happy ending. If that will have an adverse effect on you, then click away.

Logan sighed, staring into the fireplace. He held a worn letter in his hands, signed by his brother. The edges were torn and wrinkled from him fidgeting while rereading the letter, but he couldn’t stop himself. Even, then Logan automatically raised the sheet again and scanned it robotically:

‘Hello, Logan. 

Me and the twins have pretty much figured out that you don’t have internet up there, so we’re apparently ‘doing it the old fashioned way’. That’s what Roman says, in any case. Things are already duller around here without you constant exposition- hope you finish that book quickly. Speaking of which, what’s it about? You never said, you left in such a rush. I do hope we can continue to speak through mail, no matter what happens with your writing.

-Janus’

Logan balled up the letter, and threw it as far as he could. He vaguely sensed the thud a few meters away. He never was that good at pitching.

Logan grew tired of staring at the fire, eventually. He walked into the small kitchen, stepping deftly around some small pools of liquid to get something to eat, only to be faced with another letter taped onto his refrigerator.

‘Hey, Lo-Lo!

JayJay said I should write you a letter, because texting won’t work on your fancy little mountain. I still think you should have brought me with you! I would eat all the plants before you could, so you’d know if anything was poisonous. Roman is telling me to give you updates on our lives, or something like that. I got a big part in a play, I guess, and Jan and Ro are doing their musical shit again. You were the last person in the flat to appreciate shows without incessant singing- I think I may perish at this point.  Write back at your own convenience Roman stole my pen and wrote something polite, sorry about that.

-how do I close these envelope thingies? Remus.’

Something in Logan’s chest burned at the memory of his best friend. There had never been any judgement with Remus, not on the serious things. There was only humor, and an ever-present curiosity that Logan knew all too well.

Another piece of paper caught his eye. This time it was pinned to the wall, flapping delicately. He couldn’t have avoided reading it if he tried.

‘Hi, Lo.

You still haven’t responded to Rem and Jan’s letters. Are you even getting these? Who knows. I just hope you know that even if that book is difficult, you don’t have to finish it there. Or at all! No piece of art is worth your mental health- trust me, I know that all too well now. You probably hate me calling your stuff art, don’t you? It’s serious, I’m sure. You should probably write back and yell at me, just so we’re sure you’re alive.

Seriously though- I hope you are doing okay. To be honest, I was never very sure about this whole retreat thing. Not that I don’t trust you to know yourself best, of course. But I know things haven’t been the same.

-The noblest Roman of them all!’

Logan scoffed. Roman was well meaning, always had been, but he really didn’t know that much about boundaries. What Logan was doing was fine. He was fine. This wasn’t at all like the isolation from before, because he was in control this time, and he knew what he was doing. He grabbed a glass of water then sat down at the table.

The table that was littered with several more letters, of course, that he should’ve seen coming. Christ, he really needed to be more organized. Logan sipped his drink, trying not to see the words that poked out at him.

‘I hope the book is going well’

‘When will you be back? Me and Roman want to prank Jay b’

‘ere’s nobody for you to talk to, is there? I’

‘gan, you need to come back. Something’s happene’

‘as a mistake to let you do this in the first place, and I’m sorry. Please tell me you’re not relapsing though, pl’

‘ritical condition. God, Lo, I don’t think he’s going to survive. He needs you th’

‘ear to jesus, you better not be getting these. Your bro’

‘Come back. Just come ba’

‘st you, then Jay, I can’

Logan cried out , and shoved the letters off the table. For a moment, his anger was quelled, but it just came back as he saw the papers lying all over the floor. He was a failure, but he just needed to finish this book. Once he finished, he could go back. He could pretend he hadn’t gotten any letters, and mourn properly. Not now, though- he couldn’t leave now.

The worst part about this tiny house was that he couldn’t escape the letters anymore. At first he’d organized them, but several rage-fueled outbursts had made any semblance of tidiness a dream of the past. Nevertheless, Logan walked swiftly, trying to pretend the words he caught weren’t a searing brand on his brain.

‘ming to get yo’

‘we’ll be there in a few days, hopef’

‘ast letter before we see you ag’

Logan adjusted his glasses, and was surprised to find that his cheeks were damp. Yes, that would explain his burning eyes, pounding headache and difficulty breathing. Emotions would be the death of him, wouldn’t they? Perhaps this was the first time that what had happened truly ‘caught up to him’, as they say. As always, the newspaper headline was a striking contrast to the letters that surrounded it. Logan found it even more difficult to breathe properly, instinctually reading the first part of the story.

‘Two tourists have been found dead a few miles up the mountain, following the avalanche last night. They have been identified as Remus and Roman Knig’

The words seemed to blacken and crumble before Logan’s eyes. He wiped the blur from them and turned away yet again.

There was nowhere to go.

He’d managed to stomp through all of his puny cabin, relive all of his worst memories.

Logan reread the letters, and it was time to watch them burn.

His eyes watered again as the flames came even closer. He couldn’t breathe, and he didn’t care- the smoke was blocking out everything except the pounding of his head and the bright flames. His living room was long gone, his kitchen not far behind, and now he could only sit on his bed and wait. The flames almost looked inviting. How would they feel? How long would it take for him to burn and crumple, the same way the letters had?

Logan thought he saw Roman dancing in the fire. Maybe that was Remus, spinning around and around. Perhaps Janus was there again, to grab his arm and tell him everything was going to be okay. That sounded nice. He smiled, glad to see his friends and brother one last time.

Emotions really were going to be the death of him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short genfic so it probably won't get much interaction, but it was good to write. I'd greatly appreciate kudos or comments of any sort!


End file.
